“I’m Jeff, but everyone calls me Meat,” said Jeff Haar. He is a member of the Toledo Celtics, one of several oversized athletes who have a nickname that sounds like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ villain.There is also the long-haired “Samurai,” a brute named “Gonzo,” and the veteran “Car Crash.” They were all running full speed at their last practice of the summer. The fall season would begin in two days.
Rugby was invented in England in 1823. It resembles American football, without the protective pads and forward passes. The goal is to take the ball to the end of the field and touch it to the ground, like a touchdown, for five points. A team can then kick a conversion through metal uprights for an additional two points. At any time, a team can drop-kick the ball for three points. After two 40-minute halves, endless tackling and backwards passing, the team with the most points wins.
The Match
The Celtics’ first match of the season was at home on a September Saturday against Western Michigan University. The Celtics play at Sterling Field, near the north end of the Anthony Wayne Trail.Each team—the Celtics in dark green and Western in yellow stripes—ran an hour of synchronized warm-up drills. Then it was time to play.
The game remained scoreless for 15 minutes. Western, stuck deep in their own end, kicked to clear the ball. The Celtics’ fullback, “Bernie,” a former alternate for the U.S. national team, caught the ball and lowered his shoulder as he ran toward approaching tacklers. At the final moment, just before he was hit by 3 players, Bernie tossed the ball to his left as Terrance Reece received his lateral. Reece pushed back two defenders and dove to the ground for a score.
The Celtics continued to dominate. James Gonzalez (“Gonzo”), a former wrestler at the University of Michigan, and Justin Brown, a Mixed Martial Arts fighter, plowed through the opposing players. Jeremy Mantei, the 40-year-old team leader, kept the ball moving despite the blood that trickled down his shin.
Some of Western’s players became frustrated as the Celtics galloped through them, continuing to score. They began making dangerous tackles around the neck, and even swung some aimless punches before the final whistle. No matter; the Celtics won 40 to 5.
I suited up for the B-side game, reserved for newcomers and old-timers still seeking punishment. Chris Carr, or “Nascar”—the Celtics’ fastest player—tried coaching me from the sideline as I guarded Western Michigan’s B-side speedster. I needed more help, as the player blew past me twice for two scores, and picked up one of my fumbles, running it back for a third. After 5 missed conversion kicks, my net contribution for the day was -20 points. The Celtics’ B-side did not win.
The Party
After every home game, the Celtics put on their “party shirts”—intentionally tacky Hawaiian shirts buttoned barely above the navel—and invite the opposing team to eat dinner, sing rugby songs, and drink beer at the Recovery Room, 2620 Airport Hwy. Injured players walked with a crutch in one hand and a can of Natural Light in the other. Everyone sang.
“All you need is a pair of cleats, a pair of shorts, and a mouthpiece,” said Meat, who has played for eight years and still enjoys the competition. “I love the brotherhood of it,” said Gonzo, who hopes to lead the team to the playoffs in the spring. But winning isn’t everything for the Celtics. They have been a club since 1974, and they pay their dues and take the hits because they love the game. “The cool thing about rugby,” said “Data,” a 38-year-old engineer, “is that on a rugby field, you can let go.”
Interested in watching…or playing? Get the Toledo Celtics season schedule and more info at toledorugby.com, or contact Jeff Haar at 419-410-3116.
Got a comment? Tweet us @TCPaper
Tweet Dorian @DorianMarley
Dorian Slaybod is 28, a local attorney
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and happily living in Toledo.
