Kroger looks to sell recently acquired property; “up-and-coming” Halloween store top prospect

In a corporate statement, a spokesperson for The Kroger Co. said that “they seriously appreciate the solid from the guys down at City Council,” but the company has decided not to relocate at the recently purchased Monroe and Secor property.

Instead, the grocery store plans to keep the current west Toledo store, explaining that “we know it’s small and crowded, but, people just have to chill out. Everyone knows the parking lot gets nuts, so we all have to just chill.”

Since Kroger Co. currently owns the property at Monroe St. and Secor Rd., the company plans to move forward with the land.

“It’s pretty awkward. The project was a big thing, and we know it’s totally gorgeous there, but with this whole zoning change…  the property’s future is going to be a matter of interested buyers.”

Kroger Co. disclosed that a few offers have come through, but they are “committed to finding the right company” and want to ease public concerns about preserving the green space.

“We’re looking at seasonal companies so the property can be used by the public when the store isn’t operating. Our promise to preserve up to 10 trees will not be broken. It’s important to Kroger for the public to have access to the nature that has always been there.”

At the top of the list of potential buyers, an “up-and-coming” Halloween store called Unique Boo-Tique: More Than a Retail Apparition.

For those still concerned about the west Toledo store’s small size— a problem mentioned in the original proposal to relocate presented by Kroger Co.— the company hinted at the possibility of a future expansion.

“Radioshack just shut down a buncha stores, so who knows? We think Best Buy might be next. They’re not exactly the same, but nobody has been in in either for years. That’s what really matters. And we’ll totally crush that space once they go out of business. Kroger’s got plans, baby.”

For more of our special Weekend Edition,
discover how Toledo’s highways stay rough for Jeep, what will happen to Perrysburg if they open their goddamn mouth again with some haughty shit, or the possible rebranding of the city as ”Toledo: Presented by ProMedica.” 

In a corporate statement, a spokesperson for The Kroger Co. said that “they seriously appreciate the solid from the guys down at City Council,” but the company has decided not to relocate at the recently purchased Monroe and Secor property.

Instead, the grocery store plans to keep the current west Toledo store, explaining that “we know it’s small and crowded, but, people just have to chill out. Everyone knows the parking lot gets nuts, so we all have to just chill.”

Since Kroger Co. currently owns the property at Monroe St. and Secor Rd., the company plans to move forward with the land.

“It’s pretty awkward. The project was a big thing, and we know it’s totally gorgeous there, but with this whole zoning change…  the property’s future is going to be a matter of interested buyers.”

Kroger Co. disclosed that a few offers have come through, but they are “committed to finding the right company” and want to ease public concerns about preserving the green space.

“We’re looking at seasonal companies so the property can be used by the public when the store isn’t operating. Our promise to preserve up to 10 trees will not be broken. It’s important to Kroger for the public to have access to the nature that has always been there.”

At the top of the list of potential buyers, an “up-and-coming” Halloween store called Unique Boo-Tique: More Than a Retail Apparition.

For those still concerned about the west Toledo store’s small size— a problem mentioned in the original proposal to relocate presented by Kroger Co.— the company hinted at the possibility of a future expansion.

“Radioshack just shut down a buncha stores, so who knows? We think Best Buy might be next. They’re not exactly the same, but nobody has been in in either for years. That’s what really matters. And we’ll totally crush that space once they go out of business. Kroger’s got plans, baby.”

For more of our special Weekend Edition,
discover how Toledo’s highways stay rough for Jeep, what will happen to Perrysburg if they open their goddamn mouth again with some haughty shit, or the possible rebranding of the city as ”Toledo: Presented by ProMedica.”