Saturday, October 12, 2024

What to do if the new Star Wars sucks

The new Star Wars is here! Big deal, right? The most hotly anticipated movie of the year, Star Wars: The Force Awakens has attracted endless buzz and every die-hard fan is hoping this will be the breath of fresh air into the beloved franchise.

But, while the impending release of this film is a perfect time to satiate your desire for an epic sci-fi adventure, The Force Awakens may or may not deliver: Expectations inevitably lead to disappointment.  

Though no film or franchise can truly take the place of the iconic Star Wars, here are some surprising and diverse, space-related alternatives that pick up on the Star Wars space opera vibe and can help you curb your enthusiasm:

1. For fans of the other “Star” franchise: Star Trek II – VI

Please, Star Wars… don't fail us…

If you feel nostalgic for the golden age of practical effects driven Hollywood sci-fi, the original Star Trek movies are a fantastic Star Wars alternative. The first Star Trek: The Motion Picture, is excluded from this list because it didn’t have the same sense of imagination and wonder as the later entries of the series. Films like Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan epitomize the epic drama of space exploration with a fun and light-hearted feel that only the original Star Trek crew can provide. These movies deal with a range of topics including interstellar Moby Dick (KHAAAAAN!), creating new planets from scratch, and saving the whales through time travel. Any of the entries in this era of Star Trek films are an utter delight.

2. For fans of the Jedi and lightsaber duels: Samurai flicks
Harakiri​
Not QUITE a lightsaber, but if you squint…

It is well known that George Lucas was heavily inspired by the classics of the Japanese Chanbara, or sword fighting genre. Sure, these movies are not set in a far-out sci-fi backdrop, nor do they feature any exciting space combat. However, these films are chock full of the thrilling swashbuckling action that we all love about the lightsaber wielding Jedi of Star Wars. These movies are filled with great acting, complex stories with exciting twists, and larger than life stars (good luck finding a bigger on-screen badass than Toshiro Mifune). If you’re willing to sacrifice the sci-fi element, but still want to see an action packed film about elite swordsmen who live by a complex code of honor, here are just a few of these movies that totally deliver: Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, Sword of Doom, Harakiri, and the film which famously influenced the plot of Star Wars, Hidden Fortress.

3. For the original space opera: Dune

The story will get you like quicksand. 

It is difficult to talk about space operas without mentioning the great granddaddy of all such work: Dune, which features a sprawling and complex story of mythological scale about warring interplanetary civilizations, mutant telepathic demigods who chart the stars and bend space with their minds, and colossal subterranean sand-dwelling worms that excrete hallucinogenic starship fuel. The 1984 David Lynch production of Dune was not very well received by fans and critics due to its deviation from the novel and hurried telling of the story. However, for fans of practical sci-fi effects, this film has some visually compelling design. The Dune miniseries, which was released in 2000 on the Sci-Fi channel, is the best film adaptation of the novel to date, although this feature really shows its age with low budget CGI effects and some phoned-in acting, this is the most accurate and thorough adaptation of the beloved epic.

4. For fans of binge-watching: Battlestar Galactica
​
Sci-fi and chill all winter long. 

Ok, so maybe the 2004 reboot of classic sci-fi series Battlestar Galactica isn’t technically a movie, but it is nonetheless a sweeping and compelling epic in its own right. This groundbreaking series tells the tense, gripping drama of the last remnants of mankind, on an endless journey for a new home in the cold emptiness of space. If you love the action packed dogfights of the Star Wars series, you will love Battlestar. This series is full of top notch spaceship combat. Fans of the space battles in Star Wars will feel right at home with this series. Battlestar also compensates for the dated CGI effects with clever faux cinema verite camera angles. The personal drama is compelling as well, as the human protagonists defend their species against the cunning and mysterious mechanical Cylons, who seek to hunt them to extinction. What this sci-fi epic lacks in colorful alien puppets, it makes up for with deep character development and a gritty aesthetic. This is easily one of the most addictive serial dramas of all time. If you choose to delve into Battlestar Galactica, get ready to miss a lot of work and/or other important obligations.

5. If you like absurd, over the top sci-fi: The Fifth Element

Get into the fashion of the future. 

There isn’t much to say about this one. The Fifth Element has crazy special effects, absurd aliens, Bruce Willis as an ex-military hover-taxi pilot, more weird aliens, Gary Oldman in the most hilarious wig you’ve ever seen, Chris Tucker in an even sillier wig, starships, ancient mysteries, and some sort of impending apocalypse. This movie is fun, colorful, over the top sci-fi action in a sprawling futuristic universe. The Fifth Element Is not the smartest movie of all time, but if you’re looking for a fun Star Wars alternative, this fits the bill.

The new Star Wars is here! Big deal, right? The most hotly anticipated movie of the year, Star Wars: The Force Awakens has attracted endless buzz and every die-hard fan is hoping this will be the breath of fresh air into the beloved franchise.

But, while the impending release of this film is a perfect time to satiate your desire for an epic sci-fi adventure, The Force Awakens may or may not deliver: Expectations inevitably lead to disappointment.  

Though no film or franchise can truly take the place of the iconic Star Wars, here are some surprising and diverse, space-related alternatives that pick up on the Star Wars space opera vibe and can help you curb your enthusiasm:

1. For fans of the other “Star” franchise: Star Trek II – VI

Please, Star Wars… don't fail us…

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If you feel nostalgic for the golden age of practical effects driven Hollywood sci-fi, the original Star Trek movies are a fantastic Star Wars alternative. The first Star Trek: The Motion Picture, is excluded from this list because it didn’t have the same sense of imagination and wonder as the later entries of the series. Films like Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan epitomize the epic drama of space exploration with a fun and light-hearted feel that only the original Star Trek crew can provide. These movies deal with a range of topics including interstellar Moby Dick (KHAAAAAN!), creating new planets from scratch, and saving the whales through time travel. Any of the entries in this era of Star Trek films are an utter delight.

2. For fans of the Jedi and lightsaber duels: Samurai flicks
Harakiri​
Not QUITE a lightsaber, but if you squint…

It is well known that George Lucas was heavily inspired by the classics of the Japanese Chanbara, or sword fighting genre. Sure, these movies are not set in a far-out sci-fi backdrop, nor do they feature any exciting space combat. However, these films are chock full of the thrilling swashbuckling action that we all love about the lightsaber wielding Jedi of Star Wars. These movies are filled with great acting, complex stories with exciting twists, and larger than life stars (good luck finding a bigger on-screen badass than Toshiro Mifune). If you’re willing to sacrifice the sci-fi element, but still want to see an action packed film about elite swordsmen who live by a complex code of honor, here are just a few of these movies that totally deliver: Seven Samurai, Yojimbo, Sword of Doom, Harakiri, and the film which famously influenced the plot of Star Wars, Hidden Fortress.

3. For the original space opera: Dune

The story will get you like quicksand. 

It is difficult to talk about space operas without mentioning the great granddaddy of all such work: Dune, which features a sprawling and complex story of mythological scale about warring interplanetary civilizations, mutant telepathic demigods who chart the stars and bend space with their minds, and colossal subterranean sand-dwelling worms that excrete hallucinogenic starship fuel. The 1984 David Lynch production of Dune was not very well received by fans and critics due to its deviation from the novel and hurried telling of the story. However, for fans of practical sci-fi effects, this film has some visually compelling design. The Dune miniseries, which was released in 2000 on the Sci-Fi channel, is the best film adaptation of the novel to date, although this feature really shows its age with low budget CGI effects and some phoned-in acting, this is the most accurate and thorough adaptation of the beloved epic.

4. For fans of binge-watching: Battlestar Galactica
​
Sci-fi and chill all winter long. 

Ok, so maybe the 2004 reboot of classic sci-fi series Battlestar Galactica isn’t technically a movie, but it is nonetheless a sweeping and compelling epic in its own right. This groundbreaking series tells the tense, gripping drama of the last remnants of mankind, on an endless journey for a new home in the cold emptiness of space. If you love the action packed dogfights of the Star Wars series, you will love Battlestar. This series is full of top notch spaceship combat. Fans of the space battles in Star Wars will feel right at home with this series. Battlestar also compensates for the dated CGI effects with clever faux cinema verite camera angles. The personal drama is compelling as well, as the human protagonists defend their species against the cunning and mysterious mechanical Cylons, who seek to hunt them to extinction. What this sci-fi epic lacks in colorful alien puppets, it makes up for with deep character development and a gritty aesthetic. This is easily one of the most addictive serial dramas of all time. If you choose to delve into Battlestar Galactica, get ready to miss a lot of work and/or other important obligations.

5. If you like absurd, over the top sci-fi: The Fifth Element

Get into the fashion of the future. 

There isn’t much to say about this one. The Fifth Element has crazy special effects, absurd aliens, Bruce Willis as an ex-military hover-taxi pilot, more weird aliens, Gary Oldman in the most hilarious wig you’ve ever seen, Chris Tucker in an even sillier wig, starships, ancient mysteries, and some sort of impending apocalypse. This movie is fun, colorful, over the top sci-fi action in a sprawling futuristic universe. The Fifth Element Is not the smartest movie of all time, but if you’re looking for a fun Star Wars alternative, this fits the bill.

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