Top 10 Toledo Craigslist Ads

We have a complicated relationship with Craigslist here at the office. While most of us have found homes there, we know Craigslist offers a lot more… like identity theft, terrible haikus, proclamations of unrequited love, and incredible objects worthy of an informercial that runs during a Scrubs marathon at 3am. We know you’re very, very busy at work right now, which is why you are reading this, so we are going to save you the time with a list of 10 of the best finds of Dregslist… er, Craigslist. Why go to the store when you can meet a stranger in a parking lot?

Compiled by TCP Staff
Photos: Craigslist 

 

1. S’Mores Maker – Indoor/Outdoor Use $15

Are you tired of having hands covered in marshmallow?? Ever want a s’more while you are lounging on the couch as if your apartment has a carbon-monoxide leak?? Are S’more just too difficult? Make S’Mores anywhere, anytime with this like-new smoke-free Casamoda brand S’Mores maker.

 

2. 200 Gallons of Tie Dye – $120 or Trade

One morning, Martha woke up to find her son had left on a painted school bus with his friends to sell tee shirts at festies all summer. Unfortunately, the crew forgot to bring their materials, but “didn’t feel like turning around,” so all that remains is a Viking hat and 12 – 20 gallon containers of Tie Dye. Martha wants to sell or trade. This is enough Tie Dye to keep thousands of hippies occupied for days—just add T-Shirts, a hackey sack and a Larry’s cousin’s Phish CD. Please help Martha. You’ll have fun.

 

3. Mannequin Torsos for Trade

Now this is fun: nine half-size mannequins with a varied amount of arms, to get your creative juices flowing. Enlist the mini-mannies in a fictitious militia or set them up around the dinner table so you never eat alone again. When in doubt, you can always reproduce Hans Bellmer’s comforting doll sculptures. Seriously. Uncanny.

 

4. “Really Cool” Duct Tape Wallets – $6

Duct tape wallets haven’t been “really cool” since the late ‘90s, but no one told this Craigslister that. Still, you might be able to convince a couple people that you are capable of making shoddy crafts. That’s worth something, we guess.

 

5. Wedding Ring to Trade for Firewood

This post reads, “will trade for a few cords of firewood/ if interested must be decent wood.” Pretty poetic. Not sure if this couple has ended a marriage or they just want to burn their house down to get off the grid.

 

6. Creepy Kewpie Doll – $25

While you might think a doll like this is for kids, rethink the object in a new way to create a very contemporary living environment. Play up the creepy-factor of this doll by placing it in the corner of a room in your home—a short jolt of fear is the perfect way to give your guests the time of their lives. Sporting a groovy paisley onesie and a mischievous look, this doll suggests it is up to something.

 

7. Chi Chi Salsa 16-oz. Jars – Hot or Medium! – $1.25 Each

We all miss Chi-Chi’s—take home a bit of nostalgia in salsa form. These babies have a 2015 expiration date, so hurry. Like wine, salsa is best with age. You won’t be able to find salsa this mature at the grocery store.

 

8. Snowrunner by Chrysler – $500

Bored by the totally lame toys now being offered for kids? Shouldn’t children grow up with a little excitement? You don’t want your kid to wait until they are an adult to learn how to flirt with danger. Give the 9-year-old in your life the perfect way to unwind next winter, with a bizarrely crafted “snowrunner” that may or may not be made out of a muffler.

 

9. Beer Buddha Fountain Decoration – $150

Nothing says “super zen” like a dancing Buddha wearing a santa hat. Meditate your cares away with this one-of-a-kind Beer Buddha fountain, trash can, planter, and ice cooler to clutter your already half-assed man cave. You’ll be so chilled out that your hands won’t work, and taking a photo or identifying major religious icons will be nearly impossible.

 

10. 1970 Moto Ski Capri – $800

A vintage snow machine that looks like a shitty ride at a theme park, or a great weapon to bring to a snowball fight? Just imagine sitting there as snow projects towards your enemies. Throw your head back and laugh. Feels good, right?