Some mornings you wake up and the only way to tamp down the absolute horror of facing another damn day is to interview Tom Arnold. The fleeting notion that life could end and you could be the one to end it, is only abated by the strange knowledge that the comedic foil in True Lies is going to call you in 20 minutes, and not only that, but he’s going to be a total sweetheart.
I picked up the phone expecting the excitable funnyman to be “on” spitting pre-prepared lines at a breakneck, cocaine cadence. Instead I was greeted by the calm kind voice of a guy that was subdued just enough to hint he might be more than a little burnt out, being a 57 year old father of a two year old boy with his second child on the way. And, so, we talked for a while.
Humble beginnings
It’s more likely you know Tom from the aforementioned Schwarzeneggerian blockbuster, his stint hosting The Best Damn Sports Show Period, or his very public divorce from Roseanne Barr, but Arnold broke into his fame as a stand-up and despite all of his other talents, a comic is what he considers himself to be at his core.
“Stand-up is how I started back in 1982. Getting on the road and doing stand-up makes me better at everything else. [During] My first acting gig, I was doing a scene with Dustin Hoffman— even saying that now is crazy. I think the only reason I didn’t freak out is because I was used to being alone in front of a live audience. There’s nothing scarier or more challenging than that,” said Arnold.
The moments he mused on the earliest incarnation of his act were the real joy of my conversation with Tom. “Way back when I started I was the goldfish guy. My act was Tom Arnold and the fabulous goldfish review. One did an impression of the Pope, one was a sword swallower, I had someone from the audience hold a flaming hoop which was a tennis racket and had a goldfish on a motorcycle jump through it and that started too many fires, well I was drinking a lot back then. And I have to say, things did not always go well for the goldfish— you find out people really care about goldfish. Eventually, I realized I had to create my own voice. Plus, it’s hard to travel around with the goldfish,“ said Arnold.
A regular Mudhen
Tom is no stranger to Toledo, in fact, he hand-picked our town for this stint of his tour because he remembered having a good time here. “I know [there’s] a great minor league baseball team there and something about hot dogs. I remember my manager calling me like, ‘Someone wants you to come down and sign a hot dog.’ Now, I’m sure that’s an amazing honor… but I’m good. I mean I don’t want to insult the hot dog guy. I’m from a small town so I totally get those kind of traditions. So, I could see how signing a hot dog could be equivalent to getting the keys to the city,” Arnold added, with a touch of nostalgia.
Goldfish-less, as he may currently be, Tom Arnold is going to put on a great show and wants you to stop out and meet him after. And though you may be tempted to be the person who shows up and wants to heckle by yelling out comments about Roseanne, don’t. That’s the equivalent of being that guy who shouts “Free Bird” at a show; it’s lame.
7:30pm & 10:30pm Friday September 18 & Saturday, September 19
$25
Laffs Inc., 3922 Secor Rd.
419-214-0700 | laffsinc.com
