Toledo Competing For Title of “Greatest Midwest Foodie Town”— Vote Now

. May 16, 2017.
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Okay, Toledoans, if there’s one thing we all agree on, it’s food. Food is delicious, food is necessary, and the reality is that Toledo has some of the best food, freshest food on the planet. But here’s the thing: MidwestLiving.com hasn’t recognized our food dominance. They think it should be some sort of open voting competition. As if the folks of, say, Lawrence, KS stand a chance when it comes to knowing really good eating. Basketball, sure. Eating? Not a chance.

In order to properly establish our foodie dominance title, all of you actually have to go to midwestliving.com/vote and cast your ballot for this honor. Voting ends Wednesday, May 31, so get in there now!

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Of course, while we believe in a good, fair fight here in Toledo, we also believe in an informed fight. So here are some things you should probably know about the other “Foodie Town” contenders in the running:

Champaign-Urbana, Illinois
This city amounts to a suburb in the shadow of Chicago— and they can’t even settle on a name! Are they Champaign? Are they Urbana? Or are they, like many of their citizens call themselves Chambana? Ugh, before you can claim expertise on anything, you have to at least know your own name. Oh, and their sweetcorn is just whatever.

Bloomington, Indiana
This is a blog entry from actual Bloomington resident LennyP:

“There is nowhere good to eat. Every restaurant that I have tried has either had bad food, bad service, or both. Apparently, in Bloomington the simple fact that someone is making your food for you is enough. Expecting it to be of high quality, served quickly, or for you to be showed any type of attentiveness as a customer is expecting too much.”

Even their residents don’t like their grub.

Des Moines, Iowa
Settled by Frenchies, this town somehow missed the culinary elan that the Frogs are known for. I don’t know that for a fact— I’ve never been to Des Moines, but I also have no intention of going there. Nothing against the good people of Iowa, but we Toledoans don’t like to get too far from good food. And we’ve got plenty of that in Toledo.

Trash Scrap Dirty Dump Heap Dumping Garbage

Trash Scrap Dirty Dump Heap Dumping Garbage

Lawrence, Kansas
They’re “Johnson County adjacent,” which makes them all snob wannabes. ‘Nuff said.

Ann Arbor, Michigan
Ann Arbor acts all hip and boho, but let’s be honest: the most relevant people to come from Ann Arbor are Ken Burns and Playboy Playmates Kristina and Karissa Shannon. Also, this is the city that gave us the founder of Domino’s Pizza. Don’t get us wrong, Domino’s will do in a pinch— especially when your city is filled with granola. Sorry, Ann Arbor— Avoid the Noid.

Duluth, Minnesota
This city screwed up the Interstate Highway System for 36 friggin’ years. After Dwight Eisenhower proposed an Interstate Highway, Duluth tied up the I-35 connection with their petty demands and squabbling. Now, imagine them trying to fry an egg. HAH!

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Springfield, Missouri
Not even the best known Springfield, this city isn’t known for anything special— and that includes food. I’m not saying that Springfield is bad, I’m just saying it’s pretty clear this is the “runner-up city” in life.

Lincoln, Nebraska
Lincoln was once declared the country’s healthiest city. You know what healthy cities aren’t known for? Food that you crave. Good eating is damn near the enemy of healthy living. Avoiding the sort of food that makes great eating fun is the number one way to be healthy. So why would you vote for anything Lincoln? Plus, their original city name was Lancaster, but they changed it to seem cool after the President was assassinated. Little too late, Lancaster. Probably should have changed their city name to Poserburg.

Fargo, North Dakota
Their greatest cultural export is that they talk funny compared to the rest of the country. Let’s face it, even they don’t know how they wound up on this list. That movie that made this town so famous? It wasn’t even shot in or near Fargo (probably because the film’s caterers looked at the area’s dining options and said “Pass”).

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Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Their former fire chief was just arrested on 10 counts of child porn. Maybe we’re old fashioned, but are you really going to want to support a “food town” that has that stigma? I know I’d probably look elsewhere.

Madison, Wisconsin
Madison’s nickname is “Madtown”— as in crazy. As in, people must be crazy if they think that Wisconsin is going to get any love for anything other than their cheese. We won’t dispute that Wisconsin is the land of dairy, but last time I checked, it takes more than moldy cow juice to make a good meal.

The winner will be featured in their September/October edition. If we don’t win, you only have yourselves to blame. Don’t get complacent here, actually vote. And get your friends to vote. Our area foodie scene deserves the “W.”