Saturday, June 21, 2025

Consecrations for Women and their Children

   After this, the thought darted into her mind that this animal might be dying or something. It was impossible to know because the vet still hadn’t called back and so she decided the only thing left to do was drive to see him. It was a Monday at 2:00 pm and her favorite soap had just started and she felt awful about still wanting to see what was going to happen on the show. Thinking she still had a minute, she set the boy on the tile flooring and used the remote to record the show. Now, she was ready to go. The cat was still unmoving in the towels and smelled of a kind of soiled neglect. She ran outside and set the box down next to the car. She started it and threw on the AC full blast to cool the inside down. The black leather interior of the vehicle was unbearably hot for anyone, feline or human. Her shoes were sticking to the blacktop and the smell made her wince as the melting black rubber welled up into her nose. As she threw a towel over the opening of the box to cover the cat from the light, she dialed her husband one more time, no answer.

    Back inside, Tanner was simply sitting, waiting for her and breathing oddly. She felt a growing sense of imminence in every part of her skinny body. Tanner appeared to be getting scared and so she lifted him to her breast and whispered quiet reassurances that he could not truly comprehend, nor can any human of any age comprehend or understands while in a state of shock and fear. She knew this, but she was scared too, shaking a little while trying to rock the baby back and forth, back and forth. She kept on speaking to him as if he understood as she walked with her thin white legs out through the heat and light of the blinding summer day to where the car was rumbling in the driveway.

    The woman started to place Tanner into his car seat but he began to cough and fidget, his arms flailed and cut through the air, hitting her in the face and smearing the make up on her cheek. And when she felt the similar sting of metal stabbing her skin, she grabbed his hand and saw that one gold earring was clenched in his small hand. He was coughing more violently now. The other was lodged down his throat. She saw this now, and put together the irregular breathing from before. The horror and fear crept up her spine like a million needles, she felt the ghosts of every mother, Tanner’s—even her own— breathing at her back, watching and judging. She started to whimper as Tanner was wailing, choking in awful pain. The glove was nowhere in sight, and so the women stuck out her manicured pinky and with a steady hand that did not feel like her own, she opened the baby’s mouth to see the golden earring with its sharp barb gleaming back at her. Her jaw tightened and she bit her lip and thought of getting the glove but she feared the situation worsening, the shiny jewelry could fall deeper down into the darkness of his throat. So the woman stuck her finger down the child’s esophagus and gently pulled the ring out. It exited the child and reentered the world along with the lunch she had fed him earlier, which was a smooth carrot orange that flowed out his mouth like a volcano onto her white blouse. He stopped crying; there was silence followed by normal waves of breathing out his nose that made her smile as she once again started to speak sweetly to the child, softly  bouncing him as he nestled up to her chest. No longer was the baby heavy in her arms, he felt weightless. The woman grabbed the towel from the top of the box on the left side of the car and started to dab the vomit off Tanner when she heard the tiny squeaks of new life in the air. In the box, the cat’s eyes were open, alive, and licking her new kittens while the women leaned against the car in relief. The sun shined harshly but a cool wind blew through the air as the women closed her eyes and felt her stiff body relax into the nursing pose of a female who felt the presences of past mothers breathing their calm breath on her, giving the woman their silent blessings and unbreakable promises that she could feel but never understand.
 

   After this, the thought darted into her mind that this animal might be dying or something. It was impossible to know because the vet still hadn’t called back and so she decided the only thing left to do was drive to see him. It was a Monday at 2:00 pm and her favorite soap had just started and she felt awful about still wanting to see what was going to happen on the show. Thinking she still had a minute, she set the boy on the tile flooring and used the remote to record the show. Now, she was ready to go. The cat was still unmoving in the towels and smelled of a kind of soiled neglect. She ran outside and set the box down next to the car. She started it and threw on the AC full blast to cool the inside down. The black leather interior of the vehicle was unbearably hot for anyone, feline or human. Her shoes were sticking to the blacktop and the smell made her wince as the melting black rubber welled up into her nose. As she threw a towel over the opening of the box to cover the cat from the light, she dialed her husband one more time, no answer.

    Back inside, Tanner was simply sitting, waiting for her and breathing oddly. She felt a growing sense of imminence in every part of her skinny body. Tanner appeared to be getting scared and so she lifted him to her breast and whispered quiet reassurances that he could not truly comprehend, nor can any human of any age comprehend or understands while in a state of shock and fear. She knew this, but she was scared too, shaking a little while trying to rock the baby back and forth, back and forth. She kept on speaking to him as if he understood as she walked with her thin white legs out through the heat and light of the blinding summer day to where the car was rumbling in the driveway.

    The woman started to place Tanner into his car seat but he began to cough and fidget, his arms flailed and cut through the air, hitting her in the face and smearing the make up on her cheek. And when she felt the similar sting of metal stabbing her skin, she grabbed his hand and saw that one gold earring was clenched in his small hand. He was coughing more violently now. The other was lodged down his throat. She saw this now, and put together the irregular breathing from before. The horror and fear crept up her spine like a million needles, she felt the ghosts of every mother, Tanner’s—even her own— breathing at her back, watching and judging. She started to whimper as Tanner was wailing, choking in awful pain. The glove was nowhere in sight, and so the women stuck out her manicured pinky and with a steady hand that did not feel like her own, she opened the baby’s mouth to see the golden earring with its sharp barb gleaming back at her. Her jaw tightened and she bit her lip and thought of getting the glove but she feared the situation worsening, the shiny jewelry could fall deeper down into the darkness of his throat. So the woman stuck her finger down the child’s esophagus and gently pulled the ring out. It exited the child and reentered the world along with the lunch she had fed him earlier, which was a smooth carrot orange that flowed out his mouth like a volcano onto her white blouse. He stopped crying; there was silence followed by normal waves of breathing out his nose that made her smile as she once again started to speak sweetly to the child, softly  bouncing him as he nestled up to her chest. No longer was the baby heavy in her arms, he felt weightless. The woman grabbed the towel from the top of the box on the left side of the car and started to dab the vomit off Tanner when she heard the tiny squeaks of new life in the air. In the box, the cat’s eyes were open, alive, and licking her new kittens while the women leaned against the car in relief. The sun shined harshly but a cool wind blew through the air as the women closed her eyes and felt her stiff body relax into the nursing pose of a female who felt the presences of past mothers breathing their calm breath on her, giving the woman their silent blessings and unbreakable promises that she could feel but never understand.
 

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