Rejoice and be thankful, kiddeez, for another campaign season has come and gone like last week’s garbage. Never mind that the stench still lingers on the breeze.
That rank odor could come from a variety of sources. Perhaps it’s the fact that the choice for Mayor came down to two yahoos with a slim plurality of voters in the Primary, when a vast majority split votes between two prominent Democrats. Like the wag once said, we didn’t just have to decide between the lesser of two evils, we were left with the evil of two lessers. When people turn to wistful nostalgia for those halcyon days of Smilin’ Jack Ford you can be certain the candidate field was littered with mediocrity.
Or maybe the air still reeks from the specter of Carty Finklestinker hovering over the proceedings. Whether it was pushing his septuagenarian former chief of staff down everybody’s throats or flashing his toothy grimace while touting his former nemesis J Fo as the next best thing, the Stinky One was in full campaign throat. While we write, the outcome is not yet decided, but if Run D.M.C. is elected and forced to vacate his Council seat, guess who’s sweating around the Adam’s apple to take that seat? Yep, there’s nobody Stinkier.
If the thought of a return to the reins of both J Fo and Carleton S isn’t enough to keep you up at night, you must be new to the city. We welcome you, and wish you every bit of good luck.
Parties up in smoke
That slightly sulfurous smell might not just be the Finktonian brimstone, though. It could be the local Republican and Democratic Parties going up in smoke. The fact that neither major party had a horse in the Mayoral Derby is bad enough for their long-term outlooks. Add in the fact that the Rs official slate included folks who actually repudiated their endorsement or never sought it, plus a couple rattling loose screws and a complete wing nut, and you can see why real Rs stayed out of the way.
The Ds were just as odiferous. One of their number actually finished dead last in the Primary Election, and two more who finished in the top six said no way, Ronny to the thought of seeking the D endorsement. Thus two endorsed Ds, both incumbents by the by, finished out of the top six in the Primary, and the Ds couldn’t field a full General Election slate. Again, as we write we don’t know the outcome of the General, but the dismal D showing in the Primary has still left a dark stain across the electoral sky.
Politics is not warm and cozy
That stain may have come from the explosion of the D leadership, as the Executive Director was, then wasn’t, fired. And the annual fundraising dinner was canceled for lack of interest. And the D HQ is dormant and abandoned most days.
Or maybe the stink emanates from the mamby pamby “Clean Campaign Pledge” posturing. Since when is politics supposed to be all soft and fuzzy? Time was, elected officials used to get into occasional fisticuffs in local watering holes. Granted, sinking to the level of personal attacks seems a bit over the line of decency. Which of course we would never do. Except when we would.
But since when is calling into question your love of overseas travel on the taxpayer dime off limits for an opposing campaign?
We say calls ‘em as you sees ‘em, and if your opponent’s rants call into question their lack of understanding of racism in Toledo, skewer them with it.
This isn’t tiddly winks. Heck, we aren’t really sure how to play tiddly winks, but politics is a full contact sport. Get in the ring and expect to get muddied. Sorta like Trick or Treating, which takes place during the unpredictable Toledo weather of late October. You want the candy? But you’re afraid of a little sleet stinging your fresh little face? Tough luck, Junior! You want the gusto, you gotta pay some dues!
Except this year a weather forecast postponed the Candy Run until further notice. A sign o’ the times. Weak campaign pledges, unexciting candidates placed before a doleful electorate, major parties who can’t bother to show up, and who emerges on top o’ the world?
The Fink. We got miles to go before we sleep, peeps.
