“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent,
a part of the main.”
— Poet and philosopher John Donne
Here we go again. Collins vs. Council. We’ve lost track of which round this one is.
The latest dust-up came just before Unca Dennis released his proposed budget for fiscal year twenty fifteen. Council sez Hizzoner left it to them to figger out how to fund parks and recreation, and especially swimming pools. Councilman Steven Steel, Chair of the Parks ‘n Rec Committee, called it an abdication of responsibility. Councilman Jack Ford woke up long enough to deliver one of the most excoriating zingers in recent memory. “Da Mayor gave us a challenge,” said Sleepy Jack. “I say we slap him in the face wid’ it.”
Unca Dennis cried foul. “No, I reely, reely wanna just get along and work together wid’ the Honorable Council,” he whined, pointing to a couple memos his office sent to all the Council members. Heck, they was printed on offishul letterhead, so they must be impotent. And they even carried a facsimile signature of Unca Dennis his own self!
The memos in dispute said, directly and unequivocally, that Unca Dennis reely, reely wants to just get along and work together wid’ the honorable Council on figgering out a way to fund parks and rec. Shouldn’t that be enough to prove it’s so?
Well, no, prolly not, sez Councilwoman Lindsay Webb. Mebbe a direct phone call requesting a mano a mano sit-down would be a bit more effective, said Lindsay. She then slammed Da Mayor for a general lack of communication with Council. Seems Unca Dennis has chosen the replacement for retiring Police Chief Moten, and Webb found out through the media source of record.
This has been a running theme since the Aquacaplypse of Twenty Fo-teen in August. Council members heard all about it, but not from the horse’s mouth, that is, on the radio and tee-vee. Unca Dennis made it all better, though. He hired a new lovely spokes model. She now routinely includes members of Council on all media advisories. Check ur faxes, fellas, there might be sumpin’ brewin’.
Three strikes, and yer out
Just add this to the lengthening list of problems with the Collins Administration. One listed item is the lack of a coherent program, such that this week we’re flying out of Toledo Express, next week it’s too expensive. This week we’re refusing to hire smokers, next week we forgot all about it. Another is the ragtag gaggle of roustabouts that populate Hizzoner’s Administration. Most are Carty retreads, and after a few shakeups pretty much all are old white guys.
Then there’s the lack of communication, or at least perceived lack. Unca Dennis thinks communication by memos should be enough. What exact action would be indicated by said memos is another question. And media advisories can’t answer follow-up questions. To what might we attribute the three horns of the Collins Administration dilemma, the scattershot policy, the lack of communication, the less-than-awe-inspiring stable of stiffs?
At the risk of being redundant, we’d say it’s completely predictable when you elect a self-styled curmudgeonly “Independent” who thinks somehow standing alone is a badge of honor. Now he’s so alone he’s completely out in left field.
Make no mistake. Mikey P. Bell Bottoms called himself an “Independent” as Mayor, but by and large, that was so the lifelong Democrat could curry favor with the R-leaning business community. Mikey mostly subscribed to Democratic principles, had long-established relationships with D elected and operatives, and regularly rubbed elbows at high profile events, political and otherwise. Even as an independent, Bell Bottoms was a part of the main.
Lonely and blue
Unca Dennis, not so much. On Council he took great pride in telling everyone within earshot how they were wrong and why he was right. Stuff that doesn’t tend to win friends and influence people. He has worn his independence on his sleeve throughout public life, shunning partisan politics to “stay above the fray.” That might sound romantically appealing. No Party bosses to please, no ideology to follow, just a hard-hitting man-o’-the-peeps!
In reality, it means no considered philosophy, no alliances, no well-honed vetting process. No hanging around at Party functions, no relationships built. Instead, ticking off folks from all Parties equally. Just one man, an island entire of itself. And just as effective at administering a city as an island might be.
See, if Unca Dennis had claimed a Party affiliation, we’d know in broad strokes what he stands for. Regardless of which Party. We’d also know what sorts of folks he hangs out with, and have a hint about who might join his administration. He’d have built relationships and could communicate easily. And he would have been through a vetting process that might humble him and cause him to respect the need for working together.
Instead, we have the implosion that is the Collins Administration. And now the real fight over the budget begins.
Heaven help us all.
