Bet you have no clue who Harold Harris is.
Correction. You definitely know who Harold Harris is. You just have no clue his name is Harold Harris.
If you’ve ever driven around T Town, you’ve seen Harold at major intersections. The man with the million dollar smile, waving at passing cars, with signs as big as he is.
Over the years he has waived signs assailing Wade on gun violence, needling Marcy on various issues, and hoping we all have a nice day.
Now he has a new message for Wade’s re-re-election campaign.
“Time’s up.”
Into the Ring
With that, Harris has thrown his weather-beaten hat into the mayoral
race ring.
And the torch has been passed to a new generation of characters in the T-town City Politics show.
The tent used to be a lot bigger back in the day. Decades ago candidates came out of the woodwork to run for Toledo mayor.
There was that guy Jim Something-or-other, the one who always wore a fishing vest for no good reason. His campaign literature looked like he copied it at a public library.
He ambled off the scene as quickly as he sashayed on, disappearing into the dustbin of mayoral history after his predictable drubbing in the mayoral primary.
There was that young Muhammed kid who ran in two thousand and one. He gained prominence in a televised debate when he continuously skewered pre-indictment Ray Kest. He was quick-witted and knowledgeable. It looked like he had a bright and long political future. But he disappeared after losing the primary, never to be heard from again.
Then there was Opal. The Queen of Clowns. A whirlwind force of lunacy, whether during election season or not. Opal was such a force of chaos we need say nothing more. The mere mention of her first name evokes nostalgic chuckles of whack job glee. And now she’s gone.
This year, that leaves us with Wade, a virtual shoo-in for another term. And Robert Torres, newly christened Roberto. Torres fancies himself a serious candidate, and he’ll clear the primary. More on him later this year.
Which means the mantle of the challenger falls on Harold Harris.
Rest in peace
RIP Opal. Harold, you have massive and colorful shoes to fill.
And yes, Harold. We still want that pot of gold Opal promised us.
Here’s the deal. Despite long odds to clear the primary, don’t harbor delusions of potential, and don’t talk serious policy. Instead, Harold, embrace the issues before the primary bounces you. Take up the torch made available to you by Opal’s passing. Don’t disappear if you get trounced in the primary. We need you, Harold. Be the chaos and the one questioning and the one raising the issues that you were meant to be.
One more thing. Fearless prediction. Despite the fact that deceased folks are ineligible to serve, Opal will garner write-in votes this November.
In the meantime, vote May 6 like the future of T-town depends on it.
Because it does.
