Monday, December 4, 2023

Turkey Day in the T

Turkey and gravy in City Politics

Fall is finally here! Autumn leaves are falling in a blaze of color, the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer, and there is finally a crispness to the morning air.

‘Tis the season to pause and give thanks by slaughtering gobbler birds and eating tin can-shaped cranberry goo. Here at City Politics we also take the time to celebrate the many turkeys of T-Town. And we are thankful for the sides of gravy that make the dry, tough old birds a bit more palatable.

Behold, this year’s gobble gobble collection.

Thanksgiving dinner

Turkey Number One. Tony “Killer” Dia. By now you know Killer’s bona fides. Convicted killer. Owner of strip joints, with a rap sheet as long as your sleeve. Trying desperately to ride the coattails of his heroic son, police officer Anthony Dia, who was killed in the line of duty. Using the honor of his son in a craven attempt to white wash his sordid past and win public office. Talk about turkey!

Killer has run for office twice since his son’s tragic death and lost both times. This year he is running for Ohio Senate, even though he has never served a day in public office.

Here’s the gravy. Killer’s opponent is current State Rep. Paula Hicks Hudson. In stark contrast, PHH has a lifetime of public service. She has been an attorney in private practice advocating for children, and has served as a member of Toledo City Council and as Toledo Mayor. She is gracious, thoughtful, and hard-working.

And she’ll beat Killer handily. Three strikes and yer out, buddy.

Turkey Number Two. Gary “No Clue” Johnson. The Clueless One is a member of the infamous Indicted Four, members of Toledo City Council federally indicted on various charges in Twenty Twenty. Upon his arrest, Johnson famously opined that he apparently doesn’t know the difference between a bribe and a campaign contribution. Foot in mouth much, Gary?

His fellow indictees Tyrone Riley and Yvonne Harper have largely vanished from public view. Larry Sykes had the temerity to run for re-election. Voters had the good sense to reject him out of hand.

And Johnson? He seems oblivious to the legal peril he’s in while attempting to raise his public stature. He has been sighted at every major political event lately, glad-handing and chuckling it up. Most folks are predictably polite but standoffish with the disgraced pol facing federal prison.

Sorry, folks, no gravy with this one. By the time you read this the indicted one will probably still be in legal limbo and continue to have no clue why he is persona non grata. Turkey.

And then there’s Marcy. Longtime and faithful servant, she has beaten back challenges from such chuckle heads as Ed Emery and Joe the Dumber, er, “Plumber.” In case you’ve forgotten, Emery was convicted of harassing his neighbors by tossing poop in their yard. Nut job turkey! 

Now there’s some turkey running against Marcy named Mazerowski or something or other. Election denier, serial liar, all around dumpster fire. Hey, that rhymes!

Go, Marcy, go!

Thank you for your public service

On a serious note, we believe it is appropriate to give thanks to all dedicated public servants at this time of year. From safety forces to city and county workers, from teachers to school bus drivers, and to elected officials working in public trust, thank you for your work in the public interest each and every day. You perform thankless jobs, but we are all better for the work you do.  

Thank a public worker today!

Recent Articles