So long, farewell, auf weidersehen

. August 27, 2019.
wack

Goodbye to the also-rans in City Politics

By the time you read this, some of you will be dead.

Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. Not dead in a literal sense. Dead in a metaphorical, political sense.
Each few years the Don Quixotes of City Politics emerge from the hinterlands to tilt at the windmills of elected office. They come from nowhere and gather the scant few signatures of registered voters it takes to run for office. They raise no money, get no media coverage, fail to campaign vigorously or effectively, then lose miserably. And return to nowhere.

This year the primary election for district seats on Toledo City Council culminates on Election Day, September Tenth. But early voting is already well underway, and the sad-sack losers are pretty much already decided.

Who are these sad sacks, you ask? Here at City Politics we never shirk from making the difficult predictions, even when we’re proven wrong. No, wait, we’re never wrong, we just sometimes present alternative facts.

Anyhoo, here are the candidates on the ballot for each district race, with our fearless predictions for how they’ll finish when the dust settles on their political graves.

District One.

With five names on the ballot, it’ll be tough for anyone to top fifty per cent. Incumbent Tyrone Riley should win, but Robert Gabriel has good name recognition given that his grandmother is a former member of Council. Marsha Hill has a few yard signs scattered around, and a name akin to former elected official Brenda Hill. Tina Scott’s and Shaun Strong’s campaigns have been nearly invisible. Predicted order of finish: Riley, Gabriel, Hill, Scott, Strong. Riley and Gabriel, neither of whom get fifty per cent of the vote, through to the General Election in November.

District Two.

Incumbent Matt Cherry against Green Party’s Stefania Czech and Republican Abigail Sadowy. Neither of the latter have run much of a campaign, and Cherry has name recognition and a war chest. Cherry wins going away, pulling over sixty per cent of the vote. Sadowy finishes second due to the Republican support behind her candidacy. Bye, Stefania.

District Three.

No incumbent in the race. More registered voters in Old South Toledo than East Toledo. But East Toledoans are more parochial. East Toledoans Glen Cook and Teresa Gadus have party endorsements. South Toledoan Robert Worthington has neither an endorsement nor a clue. Cook wins but doesn’t top fifty percent. Cook and Gadus through to November.

District Four.

Incumbent Yvonne Harper gets nearly eighty per cent of the vote, and deserves it. Octogenarian June Boyd should finally hang ‘em up, but won’t, because she finishes ahead of Clyde Phillips. Harper and Boyd through to November. On a side note, Boyd should withdraw, having no hope of victory.

District Five.

No incumbent in the race. Sam Melden in smart, savvy, and has political experience. Connor Kelley is ambitious but has little else. Melden wins easily, topping fifty per cent, with Kelley finishing second and getting through to November. Some no-name named Tom Names— try saying that five times fast— pulls up the distant rear.

District Six.

Only two candidates, so no primary vote. Both incumbent Chris Delaney and the also-ran loser clear through to November.

Then there’s Maumee City Council. Who are these people? John Fiscus? Lou Thomson? Your guess is as good as ours.

Go vote, peepz!