Attending a wedding with kids can be delightful, yet challenging. Taking them along may be better than leaving them at home. Sometimes, you may not have another alternative. It’s also good for the kids to learn the proper etiquette of attending events early, and what better way to master etiquette than providing some first-hand experience? Lessons, learned by experience, become more tangible and memorable for children. Here’s a quick guide to wedding etiquette for parents of young children:Â
Check the Invitation
Only take your kids along to the wedding if your invitation clearly says that children are welcome. Do not assume that they are invited, and do not take them along if they are not expressly invited. The invitation card may also include special instructions if the kids have been invited, so be mindful of those instructions.Â
If you are unclear about a matter, it’s better to contact the hosts and clarify with them. You could call and ask if there are any arrangements for the kids at the venue, or if you are expected to make any arrangements. There are plenty of receptions that welcome children these days but you should clarify ahead of time to understand your options.Â
Respect the wishes of the couple if they haven’t invited the children. Don’t create unnecessary challenges on the couple’s special day.Â
Let the Couple Know
It’s good etiquette to RSVP promptly, but it’s even more important when children have been invited. Let the couple know in a timely manner. Indicate the number of children and adults separately, which will help the couple make the necessary arrangements.Â
Prepare Your Little OnesÂ
Your kids may be assigned some tasks if you’re close to the marital couple. If that is the case, ensure that your kids attend the rehearsals and are ready for the part that they are to play in the wedding ceremony. When children are prepared, they are less likely to panic and won’t have to be prodded to play their role. The kids may also feel more involved and enthusiastic about the wedding when they have an assigned role to play.Â
You will likely have to coach your child regarding etiquette at events like this. Make sure they know what behavior is expected of them during the ceremony and at the reception.Â
Establish clear ‘dos and don’ts’ with your children, but don’t just make it about rules. Sit with them and explain to them the importance of good behavior at special events and the need to respect the couple and the guests. Provide them with specific examples of what’s acceptable and what’s not. Inform your child about areas that are off-limits for them, especially in an outdoor place. If they’re really young, a bit of role-play might help them understand better. Finally, let them know the rewards they can expect if they adhere to the ‘dos’ and the consequences for the ‘don’ts’.Â
Plan for the Day
Use the wedding timeline or schedule as a base and plan age-appropriate activities for your kids. This will help keep them occupied and entertained during the times that they’re more likely to be idle, bored, or frustrated. If you’re not prepared for those times, the kids could potentially act out by whining, crying, or misbehaving. Pack a special bag for them with their favorite toys, some snacks and maybe a book or two.
Make Sure Your Kids are Dressed for the Occasion
Ensure that the outfits of your kids are age-appropriate and comfortable. If they’re playing a role in the wedding, make sure they’re dressed for the part. Pay as much attention to the kids’ outfits as you would to your own.Â
Ensure that their outfits are suitable for the venue and also align with the theme and dress code set by the couple. If there’s a possibility of rain or the weather turning cold, you may need to carry light waterproof jackets along or dress them in layers.
Take into consideration the likes and dislikes of your child when picking outfits. Including your child in selecting an outfit might make them look forward to the wedding more enthusiastically. Â
Wrapping Up
After the wedding, you can have a debriefing session, where your kids discuss their observations and experiences. You can use this opportunity to reinforce lessons learned and address any questions. Reinforce good behavior with praise and rewards. Training your kids in this way helps you and the kids have a great time at events and weddings. The next time you receive a wedding invitation for you and the kids, you, and they, will know what to do!
